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A Powerful Listening Strategy to Improve Communication

This powerful listening strategy can help your communication. 💡👂


It will help you to deescalate hard conversations, or move from conflict into connection. It will initially feel unnatural, but the results will speak for themselves.


It’s simple, but not easy...


 💡 Before you respond: reflect back what you have heard the other person say. 💡


🌀 3 Tips:


• Paraphrase rather than repeat like a parrot.


• Use slightly different words to show you aren’t just listening, you are synthesising.


• Do it even if you disagree. They far more likely to engage with your responses if you show you understand their’s.



🌀 2 Observations:


• You’ll get direct feedback about whether you’ve done a good job at listening: they will tell you.


• Reflecting back might even help the other person gain more clarity on their position.


🌀 4 Benefits:


• Reduces misunderstandings, as it tests whether both of you are both on the same page. 


• You’re less likely to pre-prepare your response (a.k.a not listening!)


• It demonstrates ‘other focus’, rather than ‘self focus’. This calms the other’s nervous system.


• It slows down the conversation. Fast heated talks lead to saying things we don’t mean. This is triggering and makes good outcomes harder to achieve. Slow is fine.



🌀 6 Examples:


“If I heard you correctly, you feel…”


“To try and summarise what you said…”


“OK, so what I’m hearing is…”


“Can I reflect back what I think I heard?


“To try and capture what you said, your thinking that….”


“If I was listening well, I noticed you brought themes of…. and that you’re feeling…”



🌀 Summary:


Paraphrase and summarise what the other person has said before you launch straight into your response. It helps them feel understood, heard, and seen. 

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